Do you get butterflies in your stomach?

[Chakramaster]

Yeah, well, I've gotten to the point where I've started to think maybe I'm just destined to remain alone because I haven't had this "life changing experience" known as a crush that everyone keeps talking about.

Nah don't say that. No one is ever "destined" to be alone or really "destined" for anything. Sometimes it's rather by chance that you find that person in time or what is for your future. Yeah the fact that it may not show even the slightest sign right now can be really deetering, but that doesn't mean it's set in stone for you. Gotta keep hope and faith.

[Noblejanobii]

Nah don't say that. No one is ever "destined" to be alone or really "destined" for anything. Sometimes it's rather by chance that you find that person in time or what is for your future. Yeah the fact that it may not show even the slightest sign right now can be really deetering, but that doesn't mean it's set in stone for you. Gotta keep hope and faith.

So, then, explain to me this. Why is it than guys don't show interest in me? I've tried asking my guys friends this and they usually come back with some perverted answer but I actually kind of want an honest one. I can only think of a few times guys have shone an interest in me, but it was never for a true relationship, they just either wanted me for a one night stand, they wanted me to do their homework for them, or they wanted money from me. Is it something I'm doing that causes them to not show an interest in me or is it some other factor that I'm not considering?

[Chakramaster]

So, then, explain to me this. Why is it than guys don't show interest in me? I've tried asking my guys friends this and they usually come back with some perverted answer but I actually kind of want an honest one. I can only think of a few times guys have shone an interest in me, but it was never for a true relationship, they just either wanted me for a one night stand, they wanted me to do their homework for them, or they wanted money from me. Is it something I'm doing that causes them to not show an interest in me or is it some other factor that I'm not considering?

Well not knowing you in person kinda makes it hard for me to give you an honest answer or the perfect answer rather. Honestly I know friends like joking around, but sometimes they need to learn when not to push it the wrong way. It's kinda like the whole thing to me where I see a lot of women with guys that treat them like complete trash, yet they choose to stay with them. I hate seeing that. Ugh it's had to explain things like it to someone over a computer screen so bare with me please ._.

From what I've seen from you online there's nothing wrong with you. I think I even remember you showing "what you look like" and even posted a video response once. Nothing at all seemed "wrong" with you. I mean have you tried to with them before and they actually try? Like I mentioned once I was on a setup once where my best friend tried getting me with a girl, but it was so awkward it only lasted like 2 days. Yeah I hate how some guys do that to women. Get with them just to get something out of it then abandon them without so much as a reason why. Sometimes I know and it's stupid, but guys try to get with a girl just to say they have or to get closer to another girl.

Honestly I'm not the person to really give off the best answer either though I'm sorry. I wish I could help more, but being single my whole life (I don't count setups) I can't really give you the perfect answer you may be looking for from a guy's perspective, so I'm sorry. Just know there's nothing wrong with you from what I've seen here on PXR. Sometimes it just feels those who are single fit in with the world with ever finding someone, but that's just it. There's so many singles out there that want to get with someone one day, but haven't found that one person to connect with. Now the internet exists and we can connect with so many people from around the world. So you could eventually, if ever wanting to attempt it, find someone say....across the country from you or even on the other side of the world. I'm not saying go to dating sites and obsessively out in for those, but it's worth an attempt maybe if local attempts don't work out.

[HKim]

Do I get butterflies in my stomach? Yes, but my doctor says I should stop eating bugs.


As for guys not showing interest, well I don't have a good answer without knowing more about you and your situation, but I can say that guys aren't exactly the most outgoing people. While television seems to show men as manly guys who can easily ask a lady out, the reality is much less exciting. Guys, especially at younger ages, aren't very good at asking girls out or even letting them know they like them. They'd beat around the bush because their too nervous to go on a date. And if confronted with the topic, if they like a girl, they'll make something up or say a joke to brush it off. That way they don't have to admit their feelings.

I don't know your situation, but I suspect that at least a few guys your age have probably liked you, they just were too nervous to tell you or ask you out. Girls are awesome, but asking one out or confessing requires putting your feelings out there, risking rejection (and embarrassment). It's a hard task for many young men.

[Noblejanobii]

@Chakramaster Me? Ask someone out? Never even attempted it. I may be able to write poetry and decent stories but I'm a blubbering idiot when it comes to talking to people. I tend to say too much, make the situation really awkward, and then we both just kind of walk away or I excuse myself from the situation. So no, I've never shown interest or even tried. I've expressed it though, and it's well known enough that I have girls who make fun of me because I don't have someone to go to prom with (since going stag is considered a guy only thing and going doe is a big social no no but I'm doing it anyway unless someone asks me in the next like ten days).
@HKim I mean, I get that guys are nervous and have trouble asking, that much I've understood from what I've seen. But I'm usually pretty good at detecting when someone likes someone else just by watching them, and my best friend is even better. And really, never once has either of us detected someone showing an interest in me. I don't know, maybe we just missed it but you'd think with it being well known that I want to date they'd at least be a little bit more inclined to express their feelings or something.

[HKim]

@HKim I mean, I get that guys are nervous and have trouble asking, that much I've understood from what I've seen. But I'm usually pretty good at detecting when someone likes someone else just by watching them, and my best friend is even better. And really, never once has either of us detected someone showing an interest in me. I don't know, maybe we just missed it but you'd think with it being well known that I want to date they'd at least be a little bit more inclined to express their feelings or something.

Heh, you'd be surprised. Sometimes we can hide our feelings pretty well. Friends would know how to act to not tip you off. Acquaintances will simply keep you at arm's length. Sometimes we want you to discover that we like you so we don't have to say it, but we're too shy to give hints or clues.

Lord knows how many times I had a crush on a girl, but was too afraid to even approach or tell them. I doubt most of them knew how I felt.

[Noblejanobii]

Heh, you'd be surprised. Sometimes we can hide our feelings pretty well. Friends would know how to act to not tip you off. Acquaintances will simply keep you at arm's length. Sometimes we want you to discover that we like you so we don't have to say it, but we're too shy to give hints or clues.

Lord knows how many times I had a crush on a girl, but was too afraid to even approach or tell them. I doubt most of them knew how I felt.

Have not considered that, mostly because the guys at my school are pretty bold and usually tell a girl right out if they're into her, or they're clever about it and make it obvious but not too obvious. I'd say the best way to confess is to try one of two tactics: 1) The April Cinderella: This one's a classic at my school, especially since we're usually on spring break around April 1 so it usually happens via text or something which makes it much easier. On April 1, confess to someone that you like them, if they react badly then just say April Fool's but if not, then say it's actually true. Works quite well where I live. But if you don't want to try that then, 2) The Metaphor game. This one's a bit tricker but usually earns a lot of brownie points with the girls if you pull it off right. So, I'll give an example for this one then explain why it works. My freshman year, this guy really liked my best friend but he wasn't sure how to tell her. At the time, both my best friend and I were really into Ouran High School Host Club and this guy found out about it via some friends or something. So, one day, he walks up to my best friend and I and just flat out says, "Hey you're Haruhi and I'm Tamaki." Then fled before either of us could process it. I kid you not we spent all fourth period noodling on it before it clicked what he meant by that. Even though my best friend ended up turning the guy down gently (she wasn't ready to date at the time), it still earned enough brownie points with her that she vouched for her to the guy's current girlfriend. Here's why, by pulling a trick like that, you're showing that: a) you know some of the girl's interests and b) you know enough about them to make a clever parallel so you either have some interest in the topic yourself or you're willing to create an interest to be with the girl. This can backfire though because if you don't hang out with said girl often enough, to be able to find out about her interests could make you seem like a creeper or stalker so be careful if you plan to use this method.

[HKim]

Heh, those are pretty clever ideas. Wish I was that smart back then.

Of course, with age, comes a sense of maturity and realization that it's okay to just ask a girl out. Something may or may not come out of it, but it can't really hurt to try.

[Noblejanobii]

Heh, those are pretty clever ideas. Wish I was that smart back then.

Of course, with age, comes a sense of maturity and realization that it's okay to just ask a girl out. Something may or may not come out of it, but it can't really hurt to try.

Hey who knows, I might get lucky in college. Guys have always seemed a lot more interested in me there. I've even gotten a few winks from guys when touring college campuses. I don't really count them as interested though since I don't actually know them.

[Coru]

Ah, crushes. The dreaded word. haha.

I've had a few over the last 7 or 8 years when I started dating. I'm a really hopeless romantic. I mean, it's super bad. I'm so awkward and it's to the stage where I even considered just giving up forever (even though I'm only 18) but I just thought it was an awkward confidence thing I would grow out of.

This is the perfect example of being friendzoned and why I get nervous with relationships. My best friend and I were really close. We had almost identical interests, we loved art, pokemon, anime etc. We got really close around the time I broke up with my first girlfriend but at the time we only liked each other in friendship terms. However, that changed and I tried hard to hide it, but everyone could tell by the way I acted around her and treated her. I didn't think I was that obvious but apparently it was, so after my other friend, who was part of our trio because all three of us were close, talked to me asking if I would say yes if she asked me out, I denied obviously but she then hinted that the person I liked would, so realising that she already knew, I asked and she said yes. We dated for maybe 2 months or so. However, because I liked her a lot, I was way too nervous and didn't want to make her uncomfortable, which ended in her saying it wasn't working and it ended. Skip 3 years and I still hadn't gotten over her, we both still had a little thing for each other, so she asked me this time if we should try again. This time I thought that I shouldn't be so nervous, but again, as I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, it ended in a week with her saying we are probably best as best friends. We are still super close and I'm working on getting rid of the crush because I know I blew it, but it'll probably be there for a while.

I feel quite confident-ish now though about it. Theres someone else I like now. It isn't as strong as the one I had for the previous girl, but I've only known this girl for a year and a half whereas I've known the previous girl for over 6 years now, so it could just be that. I am open with it to my friends and most of them know I like her, so I do feel more confident, but I've been put off asking her multiple times because i'm not sure. She seems to give mixed signals. We have gotten quite close over the last year because we have the exact same timetable at college, meaning we spend much more time together than any other of our friends, but whenever I was going to bring it up, she would joke about relationships as if she doesn't want one, but other times she seems to want one so idk. Really ironically though, Me and this girl have been 'shipped' so many times. My friends in our graphics class actively ship us, Some other people say we look cute together, each of our families are trying to set us up with each other and seem to think we are secretly dating and even Tomadachi Life made us marry each other.... twice. haha.
Due to my Social awkwardness, I have drawn a picture of her favourite character with a heart and when the time is right, I will give it to her and hope for the best. I know it isn't straightforward, but we are both awkward so I think it would make it much more easier and it would also make me a bit more confident, i guess.

So, theres the story of my crippling social awkwardness. haha. My longest relationship was almost 3 years though (granted we were both early teenagers so we didn't really understand dating so we were practically just best friends) That's why I like the internet and here much better, I find it easier and less awkward to socialise and make friends. Uni is really going to push me out of my comfort zone though. Moving away from home and having to socialise. But that's another place where I could sort out my relationship issues. haha.