Should I Do It?

[Noblejanobii]

...And those people can go take a hike.

No matter how good anyone gets, there will always be naysayers. You need to ignore them. Let the compliments you receive fuel your passion, and forget about the insults. No one ever gets a "perfect score" when it comes to skills and creations, because even if one person says it's "perfect," another will not. You need to stop trying to be perfect across the board and get to that level where you enjoy what you do and enjoy getting better at it.

I used to SUCK at making banners. I got better because I enjoyed making them and enjoyed the thrill of getting better. Same thing with drawn art. Holy crap, I used to be unable to draw Pikachu at all and what I did was practically insulting to the little guy. But I enjoyed the idea of getting better and I didn't let anyone's garbage stop me. And I know the running joke I have going is I'm not great at spriting. Could I get better at spriting? I definitely could given time, tutorial practice, and passion, but the problem is... I just don't enjoy that form of art as much as I enjoy the drawn and graphic side of it. And that's all there is to it. I just prefer to work with a pen rather than do things on a pixel level. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

STOP being so hard on yourself. STOP trying to compare yourself to others. And STOP thinking you have to be perfect at all times, or you can't be allowed to partake in that activity. That's silly talk. You know what? These drawn pictures aren't even bad. Some tweaking here and there and they would be fine. They show possibility and they PROVE that when you started this whole thing in the first place, you had a burning desire to do so and decided to share it with others. Focus on the burning desire to do it. Sharing it with others isn't as important.

Create to EXPRESS, not to IMPRESS. Work for a CAUSE, not for APPLAUSE.

I blame my upbringing for that mentality. I was raised with contact social pressures at home and at school to be absolutely perfect at everything. If I wasn't, I was physically, mentally, or emotionally abused, so I fear failure way more than is probably healthy. I mean, for God's sake, in certain classes if I get a B (like even a 92) on a test, I'm prone to bursting into tears because literally until last year, if that happened I would get yelled at and hit by my mother. She stopped last year when she saw how much the stress from the class was affecting me (her abuse totally contributed but she considers it corporal punishment so) and laid off. That has continued to this year. But the fear lives on.

I seek approval in others because, to me, everything I do is nothing but for those around me. I was raised to cater to others before me, which is why I thrive off the approval of others and wilt at the anger of them. As sucky as that may sound, it's the only life I've ever known and probably will be the only life I ever know. I doubt that will ever change. So I will continue to put myself down, compare myself to others, and refuse to partake in an activity because I feel I'm not good enough. It's too late in the game to change my mentality. All I can really hope for is that, when I venture out into the world, the piranhas waiting for me don't devour me too quickly.

So I'll try to do this comic, and we'll see where it goes, but once again, fair warning, set the standard very low on your art expectations, because it probably won't be very good no matter how much I work at it.