Quote Originally Posted by Suicune's Fire View Post
It's slightly odd that the mane is referred to as the Suicune's "hair." xD


Eliminate either 'with' or 'join' here. x)


Ugh, I hate it when fights are lit.


It's sort of odd that you would call the gale winds and rain "sudden," and then say "not before this happened" because the imagery was fairly instantaneous. The elimination of "sudden" would probably solve it. x)


Nice story. c: It was really interesting that Suicune's memories were connected to the land. I've never seen that interpretation before, although to be fair I've barely read any stories with Suicune. xD I was a little confused at some parts, such as where the budew came from at the end, and I wasn't sure if she (?) was running on the water or beside it, because of the leaf thing...maybe I misread something. xD Anyway, I liked the story. I found it weird that the Suicune didn't know what Ho-Oh's gender was, as the voice should be fairly indicative.

Cool interpretation of nature!


~SF.

I KNEW I MISSED TYPOS. xD Yeah, and mane. I thought hair was odd but I had a mental blank at the time, haha. Oh, I used the word 'sudden' because I was reading up on the legend on a few websites, and apparently it was very instantaneous. But if it reads better I can always reword it. xD So yeah, I was just playing on what I'd read elsewhere.

Yeah. 8D Well the story didn't start out that way, but the idea occurred to me that if the land was dying, what would happen to Suicune, who was connected to the water and oceans? I figured it would die along with it, and memories would start to grow hazy and such. I don't think I've ever read a story with Suicune in it, actually. xD IT'S ALL NEW TO ME. Pretty much, at the end, the Budew just sprouted out of thin air. XD No, more like Suicune looked down to discover a Budew in the muddy puddle that had obscured it from view. Maybe should have clarified that a bit. I dunno. PLOTHOLES FTW! X3 I'm sure if I went over it more I could add a whole heap here and there, but it was only a short story so I didn't. xD

THANKS FOR READING <3