Favourite Events!

[Vishnal]

I get where you're coming from, but given the effort that's gone into it and how much other people have been enjoying it (and how happy that makes the organisers), saying you "despise" it is a little disheartening. That's an extremely strong word. This event is meant to be about friendship, love and kindness--not something to be despised. There is nothing wrong with participating even if you don't know anyone. I've given people a Valentines simple BECAUSE I knew they were participating. And you still got one, even though you weren't participating! That's pretty good for an event that's 'despicable.'

I have a tendency to be blunt when responding seriously. I dislike sugarcoating my feelings, as I think doing so hinders more than it helps. If you don't like it, then I should warn you that the rest of my response will likely be just as straightforward as my previous post. Also, I generally dislike anything where the more popular/well-known members of a community benefit more than the lesser-known, so I'm certain that plays a part in how I feel about the event.

And yes, the event is about love/camaraderie/what have you, but I don't get those feelings at all because, simply put, the event feels much more clique-ish (I'll get to this later) than it does inclusive.

Just know that whether or not you participate is your choice. Yes, I get that this event is based on people you know, but that's not always true--I know for a FACT that I have gotten a Valentine or two from people I have never spoken to outside this event. You could easily have participated and then received some, as well as sending some--you know, just to pass around the love. I think that being forced to send a Valentine out is sort of pointless since EVERYONE who has participated in this event - and even people outside it - have gotten a Valentine. You've gotten a Valentine. So essentially, you're suggesting something that already happened, except that you're not assigned anyone for this. The point is the freedom.

I'm well aware the alternative suggestion I provided is far from flawless. I was simply trying to come up with something that would allow more members to join regardless if they know others. Personally, I think freedom is better, but when people feel left out and don't think they can participate, then it becomes a problem.

I know I sound salty and yes, maybe I am a little, but I think that you could easily have joined. If you must know, I would 100% have sent you one by now if you had joined, because that was something Sarah and I discussed--that everyone who participates WILL end up getting one. So in a sense, you could create your own Valentine by sending some to others and even simply posting in the thread. We will keep your thoughts in mind for the future, though, because obviously it is a lot more fun if everyone feels like they can join.

How can I join an event where I am asked to send out messages to people I barely know? I know I could send a simple "Happy Valentine's Day!" message, but that feels so generic and insensitive to me. I want to be able to give messages from the heart, and I personally cannot do that when I don't know much about the other people participating. I know there are people who can do this without any problem, but I'm certain I'm far from the only one who cannot.

Also—and as far as I can tell, maybe I'm wrong—most the people participating know each other and have been around the forum for years. That's where the event feels more exclusive than inclusive. Compare the number of Valentines veteran members/staff to those newer/less active members received. The newer/less active members have far fewer Valentines. Now, can you really say that's very fair? Those who haven't been on the forum for long should have just as much a chance to receive as many Valentines as those who have been on longer. (On that note, the notion that people can send as many Valentines as they want for the event's finale makes it much more fair, in my opinion, so I'm glad you guys included that!)

I'm not saying the more active/veteran members and staff should stop participating in events, as that would go against my beliefs, but I do think everyone should have a more equal chance than they seem to have.

If there had been a notice on the thread saying "Please join in even if you don't know anyone, because you will still receive some Valentines and be able to send some out," do you think that would have been more inviting/prompted you to join? It certainly wasn't meant to sound like an exclusive event. That's certainly not what we were aiming for! So I'm sorry if it didn't seem inviting. =/ But never be afraid to take part, because at PXR, we want everyone to join in! 8D

Though I think including a note would help, I don't think it should be necessary. The events should be designed so that people would want to attend without needing a note that tells them to not be afraid to participate.

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Anyway, thank you very much for taking the time to respond to what I had written. I really appreciate it!

[Suicune's Fire]

I have a tendency to be blunt when responding seriously. I dislike sugarcoating my feelings, as I think doing so hinders more than it helps. If you don't like it, then I should warn you that the rest of my response will likely be just as straightforward as my previous post. Also, I generally dislike anything where the more popular/well-known members of a community benefit more than the lesser-known, so I'm certain that plays a part in how I feel about the event.

And yes, the event is about love/camaraderie/what have you, but I don't get those feelings at all because, simply put, the event feels much more clique-ish (I'll get to this later) than it does inclusive.

I completely respect that. Likewise, I will be doing the same. Personally I have no clique. I like to think that I am friends with everyone on the forum, because I want to be and because I make the effort. No, I do not know everyone, especially since I go through bouts of inactivity and I've recently come back to the forum from one. Like Sarah, I gain more joy out of sending Valentines than receiving them. If I got three, or none, that would be fine with me. Maybe a little disheartening, but being able to send them out - even to people I don't know - brings me and others joy. That's just it. The downfalls are uncontrollable. I'm sorry, but that's just how the event works. It's not like we're randomly inventing an event in the middle of the year which adheres to this criteria--it's Valentine's Day. Invented by people from decades ago. This is what Valentine's is. Sending out your appreciation for people who mean something to you. Not about being assigned people to send stuff to. It wasn't invented by us.

I'm well aware the alternative suggestion I provided is far from flawless. I was simply trying to come up with something that would allow more members to join regardless if they know others. Personally, I think freedom is better, but when people feel left out and don't think they can participate, then it becomes a problem.

But you're basically in the same place as half the other members who joined. They don't know many people/anyone here either, but it didn't prevent them from going, "Well, it wouldn't hurt to join." In my opinion, it's your choice that you didn't join. As I've already said, you'd have gotten Valentines if you had joined, and that's a fact--you've already got one and you didn't join!

How can I join an event where I am asked to send out messages to people I barely know? I know I could send a simple "Happy Valentine's Day!" message, but that feels so generic and insensitive to me. I want to be able to give messages from the heart, and I personally cannot do that when I don't know much about the other people participating. I know there are people who can do this without any problem, but I'm certain I'm far from the only one who cannot.

Also—and as far as I can tell, maybe I'm wrong—most the people participating know each other and have been around the forum for years. That's where the event feels more exclusive than inclusive. Compare the number of Valentines veteran members/staff to those newer/less active members received. The newer/less active members have far fewer Valentines. Now, can you really say that's very fair? Those who haven't been on the forum for long should have just as much a chance to receive as many Valentines as those who have been on longer. (On that note, the notion that people can send as many Valentines as they want for the event's finale makes it much more fair, in my opinion, so I'm glad you guys included that!)

I'm not saying the more active/veteran members and staff should stop participating in events, as that would go against my beliefs, but I do think everyone should have a more equal chance than they seem to have.

How? Well, by sending a pokemon to Sarah and then posting in the thread. It's easy. It's what others did as well. Literally, if you had written ONE post on the thread saying "Hey guys, I know I don't know anyone here, but I'm going to join anyway. I hope I can get a few as well as send out a few!" then I GUARANTEE that people would have given you some. You chose not to do that. You chose to see it as something that excluded you. It's up to us to create an event that can EASILY still be fun for members who don't know many others, and then it's up to you to meet us halfway and put in the effort to join. We can't make you have friends. That's up to you.

Some of us, but not all of us. You don't just "become" known on the forum. I've seen you around, but we've never talked. That's not either of our faults, but the only way to make friends is, generally, to talk. I only know most of these people because I made the effort to say hello, and then over days, months, years, etc, we've become good friends. We may have created an event based on friendships, but those friendships are not up to us to create--they're up to the members. What is joining a pokemon forum about? Being in an environment with other people who love pokemon, right? It's about the social aspect. So is this event. I'm sorry you felt left out, but a tradition like Valentine's Day is aimed at just that--relationships, bonds, etc. I'm sure that by next Valentine's event, you'll have plenty of people to send them to. In fact, if you had joined this time, you could already have made friends by this point.

Everyone DOES have an equal chance. You have the chance to talk to anyone on this forum whenever you like. Just like the rest of us. I've sent Valentines to people who I only met this month--that's not a veteran friendship. And those who I have been friends with for years only get one Valentine from me anyway.

Though I think including a note would help, I don't think it should be necessary. The events should be designed so that people would want to attend without needing a note that tells them to not be afraid to participate.

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Anyway, thank you very much for taking the time to respond to what I had written. I really appreciate it!

Personally, I think it was designed that way. It seems like you never made the effort to join in, and sorry, but I don't see that as our fault. We offered the members of PXR something, gave them an opportunity, and it's up to them - you - to take it. We can't cater for everyone, unfortunately. Just like if someone couldn't join the WAR because they didn't have the time. Or just like if someone couldn't join the Secret Santa because they don't like that there's a deadline. We have multiple events to cater for multiple people. This was a chance to join and make some friends, not just interact with old ones.

No worries. I hope you don't think I'm being rude or insensitive, but I am being blunt. xD In fact, I'd love to be friends with you! Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, so, ya know...maybe you'll get one. ;3