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Thread: Don't leave me!

  1. #1
    Pop Goes the Gleamsel. Palamon's Avatar
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    Don't leave me!

    Do you fear abandonment? Have you been abandoned/betrayed before?

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    Eldritch_Angel LKWayvern's Avatar
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    People taking my friendship for granted and neglecting me to pursue romantic relationships, because in the culture my country's created, romantic love makes a person 'complete' and themes of friendship are seen as being meant for children, is one fear that tends to weight a bit heavily.
    I'd like a queerplatonic partner. But I'm scared that they'd leave me because we think of romance as 'the next level' or whatever, and they wouldn't take the relationship as seriously as I would and only see it as indulging someone who was being naive, or would leave me because they want 'something more' that I can't or am uncomfortable with providing, no matter how much I do love them or value that relationship.

    ...Once in the sixth grade, a boy who I was good friends with randomly started bullying me out of nowhere. I'm not sure why. I think maybe I was trying to talk to him too much and he needed space.
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    Lover of Centipedes Scytherwolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LKWayvern View Post
    People taking my friendship for granted and neglecting me to pursue romantic relationships, because in the culture my country's created, romantic love makes a person 'complete' and themes of friendship are seen as being meant for children, is one fear that tends to weight a bit heavily.
    I'd like a queerplatonic partner. But I'm scared that they'd leave me because we think of romance as 'the next level' or whatever, and they wouldn't take the relationship as seriously as I would and only see it as indulging someone who was being naive, or would leave me because they want 'something more' that I can't or am uncomfortable with providing, no matter how much I do love them or value that relationship.
    This is my fear as well. I'm aro ace and incapable of having romantic feelings. Sure, I can make friends, but they'll always want something "more" that I can't provide. I've kind of accepted that I am going to be alone the rest of my life, which is one reason I'm getting a puppy soon.


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    Eldritch_Angel LKWayvern's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
    This is my fear as well. I'm aro ace and incapable of having romantic feelings. Sure, I can make friends, but they'll always want something "more" that I can't provide. I've kind of accepted that I am going to be alone the rest of my life, which is one reason I'm getting a puppy soon.
    Yeah... Sex-repulsed ace aro who doesn't really understand romance, myself.
    I've kind of gotten resigned to it too, which is why I don't tend to act on my squishes as much as I'd like to. If I can feel like I'm being helpful to them somehow I can be satisfied with that. Kind of.

    Puppies are tiny sources of unconditional joy and love that grow into bigger sources of unconditional loyalty, joy, and love, and are excellent. What kind of dog are you considering?
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    Lover of Centipedes Scytherwolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LKWayvern View Post
    Yeah... Sex-repulsed ace aro who doesn't really understand romance, myself.
    I've kind of gotten resigned to it too, which is why I don't tend to act on my squishes as much as I'd like to. If I can feel like I'm being helpful to them somehow I can be satisfied with that. Kind of.

    Puppies are tiny sources of unconditional joy and love that grow into bigger sources of unconditional loyalty, joy, and love, and are excellent. What kind of dog are you considering?
    Same here. I know a lot of asexuals can "compromise" on that sort of thing, but I'm not one of them.
    Same, I tend to get squishes on people who are either super busy or already have a romantic relationship, so I just don't act on it.

    Golden Retriever! O:


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    Eldritch_Angel LKWayvern's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
    Same here. I know a lot of asexuals can "compromise" on that sort of thing, but I'm not one of them.
    Same, I tend to get squishes on people who are either super busy or already have a romantic relationship, so I just don't act on it.

    Golden Retriever! O:
    Yeah, I doubt I'll be able to 'compromise' either. I'd be all over the idea of cuddling, but I don't particularly want to go any further than that physically.

    Most of my squishes are people who are creative, and who I tend to talk to often. Like one boy who grew up near me and who was in a musical with me once, and one boy who was in my acting class. The former I think had a girlfriend, the latter I got to be really good friends with and I was happy, but I never really said anything.

    Ooooooooooh yes~
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  9. #7
    Lover of Centipedes Scytherwolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LKWayvern View Post
    Yeah, I doubt I'll be able to 'compromise' either. I'd be all over the idea of cuddling, but I don't particularly want to go any further than that physically.

    Most of my squishes are people who are creative, and who I tend to talk to often. Like one boy who grew up near me and who was in a musical with me once, and one boy who was in my acting class. The former I think had a girlfriend, the latter I got to be really good friends with and I was happy, but I never really said anything.

    Ooooooooooh yes~
    That's how I feel too. I don't even really like to be touched by people unless I know them really well.

    I always get them on creative people too. Most of them I didn't even really get to be friends with though, because they just didn't have the time for friends so I could only talk to them rarely.

    Yep! The breeder we're getting the puppy from has cats so we know the puppy will be cat-friendly which is something that I'd been worried about.


  10. #8
    Eldritch_Angel LKWayvern's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
    That's how I feel too. I don't even really like to be touched by people unless I know them really well.

    I always get them on creative people too. Most of them I didn't even really get to be friends with though, because they just didn't have the time for friends so I could only talk to them rarely.

    Yep! The breeder we're getting the puppy from has cats so we know the puppy will be cat-friendly which is something that I'd been worried about.
    I can tolerate touches from others that are considered 'polite'(hand-shaking), but I don't really like it. But certain friends, and any squishes I have, I crave physical contact from.

    With me it's usually happened with people I had classes with or something similar. Except for my current one. I help them with some things but I'm not sure if they consider me a friend or a helpful acquaintance so I've been too nervous to start a conversation with them because I don't want them to think I'm too friendly or pushy or whatever.
    But I think we're at least on good terms??

    That's good~ The dog my parents have doesn't particularly like cats. Or certain other dogs. So it's good you know your puppy will be okay with them. ^^
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  11. #9
    Lover of Centipedes Scytherwolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LKWayvern View Post
    I can tolerate touches from others that are considered 'polite'(hand-shaking), but I don't really like it. But certain friends, and any squishes I have, I crave physical contact from.

    With me it's usually happened with people I had classes with or something similar. Except for my current one. I help them with some things but I'm not sure if they consider me a friend or a helpful acquaintance so I've been too nervous to start a conversation with them because I don't want them to think I'm too friendly or pushy or whatever.
    But I think we're at least on good terms??

    That's good~ The dog my parents have doesn't particularly like cats. Or certain other dogs. So it's good you know your puppy will be okay with them. ^^
    That's pretty much the same for me!

    Aww yeah I know what you mean. :c That's how I feel about a lot of mine. I don't want to be annoying.

    Yeah, that was really important for me because one of my cats is super timid and scared. I wouldn't want the dog to chase her or anything.


  12. #10
    Eldritch_Angel LKWayvern's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
    That's pretty much the same for me!

    Aww yeah I know what you mean. :c That's how I feel about a lot of mine. I don't want to be annoying.

    Yeah, that was really important for me because one of my cats is super timid and scared. I wouldn't want the dog to chase her or anything.
    Yeah, I really want to get to know them, but I also feel like I might scare them off, or be making them really uncomfortable.

    ! You have a cat, too! I like cats a lot too, but my dad was allergic to them.
    ...Once I got to pet one for an extended period of time and that was wonderful.
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