The Squawkers RPG - The Main Action and Team Status Thread of Candy Madness! [NOW LIVE AND INSANE!]

[Shruikan]

I'll go talk to 23 Jiblet the Chansey

[Neo Emolga]

Lets speak to 36 Jeezet the Swirlix

(Don't ask how I came up with these names, usually I went with the first weirdest thing that came to mind. XD)

Interview Rapport: POSITIVE!
+1 Shared Pokémon Type

You find Jeezet is a server at the Medieval Crimes Dinner and Tournament and she seems to enjoy catching customers with smuggled utensils. As you find out, patrons caught with these go on stage and get tomatoes thrown at them. Booing, insults, and silly music included with no extra charge.

Jeezet seems excited to see you, and even though you're not here to eat or watch anything, she doesn't really care.

"Hee hee hee, yay!" she grins, running circles around you and forgetting she's still on duty. "Wellll-come to Medieval Crimes Dinner and Tournament! I bet you're up for having fun fun fun fun fun!"

You quickly mention you're here to ask her if she knows anything about the Squawkers or as seen something unusual going on around town.

"Oh my gosh, you wouldn't believe it!" she jumps up and down at you. "Believe it! Believe it! Believe it! Okay, okay, calm down, Jeezet, you can do this! Okay, so I... I went to go to Slapsations at the Astroplexygon, but they're still CLOSED! Everything's cake and candy there, I know, but I really like that store. I know it's a stupid tourist store but I LOVE IT ANYWAY! Well, it used to be more popular. Okay, there was this strange... I don't know what to call it. Pieces... of things! Like a... WHAT'S THE NAME AGAIN!? No way, it was on the tip of my tongue! Think, Jeezet, THINK!!! THIIIINK... I CAN'T THINK RIGHT NOW."

"Okay, you know how when you break something and it's like in a million pieces and like something like that!?" Jeezet continues honking at you. "And you... like, try to put it back together and all!? It's like that kind of thing! It was there! Why would it be there! I tried to put it back together and I got nowhere with it! I'm just bad at these kinds of things, but maybe you'd be better! It just doesn't make sense for it to be there! How did it get there!? Where was it before!? ARRGGH."

You then see Jeezet's manager, a big bloated Slaking that looks like it had one too many Squawker treats. He roars to Jeezet and tells her to get her fluffy butt back to work.

"Oh dear oh dear oh deeeeeaarrrr!!" Jeezet nearly craps herself. "I gotta go or I'll be in big trouble! Hot water! A rock and a hard place! Eeeeeek! Nice talking to you!"

She then darts off and nearly flies back into the kitchen!

Madder the Devious Mimikyu (S: Ghost/Fairy)

Classy: Humiliation Commando
Style: Desperado Cowboy (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 6/12
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Browser History Hacking

[Neo Emolga]

I guess I'll talk to Conker the Pachirisu.

What a funny coincidence!

Interview Rapport: NEUTRAL

You decide to catch up on that crazy electric squirrel (not me) and see what he's up to! Turns out he's the head director of Batchyflaff Inflatable Industries! He's not a very good one, though. Things are a bit chaotic and he's not doing a very good job supervising anything.

"Oh you!" Conker exclaims when you approach him. "Here about the job posting!?"

You instead explain you're here to see if he knows anything about Squawkers and things like that. Or if he's seen anything weird and loopy around town save for half the place becoming a dessert-a-thon.

"Funny you should ask, I found these the other day!" Conker brags to you, dangling a set of keys with Fuzzy Dice on them.

He then looks at you looking at them.

"No, you can't have them!" Conker exclaims. "It doesn't mean squat if I don't know what they're for! But okay, you know Bizney World? They have a KILLER Acorn Juice drink for sale in Yesterdayland, and it's the only place that sells it. The only place in the world! Those BASTARDS! I really want some. I really NEEEEED some right now. Say, you buy me one of those and I'll let you have these keys. I think that's a fair deal!"

You nod, and you figure while satisfying Conker's silly beverage lust is one way of getting him to comply, there's probably a more... creative way. HACKING! Though you have to admit you're just not up for that kind of job.

5 Conker the Pachirisu: [Acorn Juice] OR <Browser History Hacking>

"Remember!" Conker shouts back to you as you head out. "Acorn Juice! Need now! Then we talk!"

Carly the Courageous Growlithe (M: Fire)

Classy: Slappy Happy Classy
Style: Trigger Happy (2 DMG, 100% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 2.5/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 2/10
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Memes

[Neo Emolga]

I'mma search the (3) Batchyflaff Inflatable Industries, floors 1 to 4

Because you've always wanted your very own bouncy castle as a kid but never got one... off to Batchyflaff!

But just when you excitedly run inside thinking there's a whole showroom floor of bounciness to enjoy and forget about life for a while, well, no, this is just a manufacturing floor! How disappointing! I mean you get to watch them piece and sew these things together, which I guess is kind of interesting, but you were expecting a whole array of them to fill your childhood desires. But then it occurs to you why they wouldn't need to have that at the manufacturing plant unless they were doing testing. But of course, to the testing area!

Well huh, they do have a testing area, but the one they're currently testing looks like a giant Mr Mime and well... damn it, you have standards and that's just unacceptable. You decide to pull a naughty one and over-inflate it while they aren't looking. And when it explodes and scatters Mr Mime pieces all over the place, you feel... better. Surely the world didn't need something like that and you erased painful memories before they even started.

You look around some more and huh, you find a pretty heart necklace that it looks like someone carelessly left behind! Right by one of the fire escape doors! Well, surely it would be silly to just leave it behind! You reach out and grab it and...

#Shiny Sparkles of Joy! - STEEL (+4 Overwhelming Cuteness)# Trap 15% Evasion Test: 82 out of 100: FAILED!

Dio looks astronomically more adorable with 4 extra points of Overwhelming Cuteness from the Shiny Sparkles of Joy!

Oh. That's why. Well, it's definitely something tied to the Squawkers, so you decide to take it with you and hopefully figure out what it's really supposed to do.

#[Cutesy Heart Necklace] Shiny Sparkles of Joy! - STEEL (+4 Overwhelming Cuteness)# has been added to the Team Pile! Woo!

You feel... mindlessly adorable. It almost hurts to feel so cheeky and boopable. You decide you just want to go home and maybe do something loud and badass for a while.

Dio the Stalwart Vibrava (M: Ground/Dragon)

Classy: Slappy Happy Classy
Style: Desperado Cowboy/Cowgirl (4 DMG, 75% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 8/10
Groovy Abilities: Stealth Mode | Perky Stuff!: Death Metal

[Neo Emolga]

I'll go talk to 23 Jiblet the Chansey

Interview Rapport: POSITIVE!
+1 Shared Pokémon Type (Normal)

You find Jiblet the Chansey doesn't actually live in Booplesnoot and is instead here on vacation! And what a trip this has been so far! And he (yes, HE, because we at Neo Emolga Pachirisu Inc don't believe in sexist discrimination in the form of single gender Pokémon!) is pretty disgruntled about it. Before you even get the chance to ask about Squawkers, he's already venting!

"I work hard all year and barely pull off just one weekend vacation," Jiblet growls. "I finally get a break and this happens!? Why does this always happen to me!?"

You almost feel like reminding him that certain Pokémon have had their businesses and homes turned into sugary goo and have been turned into all kinds of nonsense, but then you decide to not bring up that carefully considered point.

He rants some more, but after he grumbles himself nearly to sleep, you decide to chime in and ask if he's seen anything about those Squawkers that might give you a clue as to who they are!

"There's plenty of this filth," he grumbles again. "Like that stupid... Toot Park. What idiot names a park like that? I wanted real music and instead I just get toots at a Toot Park. Idiots. I had to change hotels because of those stupid Squawkers and I tried to get some relaxation at that park and ugh, more tripe was over there. So much tripe. I had to take a piss at that forsaken Toot Park and the bathroom there was locked. They sealed the thing with stone and all it tries to do is make things cutesy and stupid. I hated it the instant I saw it. Such tripe. I ended up taking a piss right on it and I didn't even care if I was arrested for public defecation. If you're going to make a bathroom, keep it unlocked! Stupid town. Stupid park regulations. Flapping anuses. All of them."

"You're still here?" he grumbles, rolling his eyes. "I bet you're looking for some kind of reward, huh? Yeah, I know how it is."

He then just flings a freaking... DIAMOND CHAIN at you and you imagine that thing's worth TONS! You catch it in midair, of course, because you're an amazing Cinccino capable of skydiving and tying your shoes at the same time! If you wore shoes.

[Dazzling Diamond Chain] has been added to the Team Pile!

"Go play dress up for a while," he shrugs. "Or buy a drink. I could use a drink. Many drinks. Maybe I'll just take a nap."

He then waddles off and you sincerely hope he enjoys the rest of his vacation.

Fírnen the Incredible Cinccino (S: Normal)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: Ecstatic About Static! (Player Explosions do not add to the Entertainment Level of Kawaii Armageddon Event #2)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 0/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 3/12
Groovy Abilities: Amigo Mode | Perky Stuff!: Hollywood Shenanigans

[Neo Emolga]

Bless woke up in that dammed pink room, having to remember what in the Distortion Realm just happened... Oh, right, her home world was having a problem, so she showed up, saw the sheer chaos of the place, vomited at some point, and passed out, tired of the state of things already. Yup, there was the rainbow puddle that smelled like a berry smoothie right there. Well, she decided, I can redecorate this place another day. It's time to start clearing up this chaotic place, starting where people had recommended...
Scavenger Hunt at Spins and Pins, Exterior and Main Building.The place might make Bless sick to her stomach, but there were no better leads than a maybe-trapped Pokemon. So she dropped her mental filter of demons and darkness over her eyes and trotted off too the Candy-Coated part of town.

Okay, you're really curious about this Pinz and Spinz Bowling Alley, especially after waking up in an odd pink room like it was made of bubble gum. Oh, and when you get there, it's an absolute landfill of goo. Custardy goo, that is! Your brain thinks it's not worth it, but your tongue is a tiny bit curious. You try a tiny lick and...

@Custardy Mess - POSION (+2 Belly)@

Bless has packed on 2 points of Belly from the tantalizing Custardy Mess!

...and then your stomach said go for it! It's really yummy and you get into it before you come back to your senses.

Well, after snacking out a little more than you wanted to, you take a stroll inside and you see the whole place looks actually kind of creepy with everything as goo. And it's kind of dark inside. And the ceiling is dripping. Sure, it's more custardy goo and it doesn't taste that bad actually, but it's kind of creepy. You see lots of nice bowling lanes that... used to be nice, and now they're just long flat lines of goo. And ball returns... made of more goo.

You peek around and yeah, no one is going bowling in here for quite a while. It would be like golfing in the middle of winter with a foot of snow on the ground. Or playing basketball in the ocean! Or surfing in the desert! Scrabble while skydiving, anyone?

Oh, you find the door! It's got more custard and there's actually flowers... REALLY big flowers all over this thing. And daaaamn, they're tough as nails! You try to rip them off the door but it's like they're sentient and even try to latch onto you! But you're cool and you step back before they assimilate you, leaving them to just plot revenge instead. How they are even growing when it's dark in here and... you know what, never mind. You look it over and you figure it's going to need a lot of work. You need fire. Some death metal. And even after all that, you're still going to need to just rip everything around this thing to shreds.

{Flower and Custard-Smothered Door: <Death Metal> AND +Fire Type+ AND Thunderous Desire for Lawn Flayer™ Weed Whacking}

You go "grr" a bit and decide to just head back for now. Your opinion of the Squawkers has not improved!

Bless the Edgy Umbreon (M: Dark)

Classy: Guardian Snow Angel
Style: The Puns of Anarchy (Overwhelming Cuteness -3 on each Enemy Attack)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 2/10
Overwhelming Cuteness: 0/10
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Killjoy Master

[Neo Emolga]

Interview 15 Bagz the Skiddo.

Interview Rapport: VERY POSITIVE, INTIMIDATING
+1 Shared Pokémon Type (Grass)
+1 Shared Pokémon Evolution Stage
+Intimate (Poison VS Grass)

You greet Bagz the Skiddo while he's eating pieces of Peachy Beep Elementary School. I mean sure, the fact it's all strawberry ice cream now makes it... slightly less awkward, but you still have an odd feeling. It seems like he still thinks school is in session, but really it's not, and it appears he would have missed going to class today even if it was.

He turns around and it's terminal. He makes a face like he's about to be run over by a stream-roller and only correctly guessing the number of jelly beans in the Triangulum Galaxy will save his life. He says "zero" but then is told he is wrong, left wondering about existence as a whole and where the folks in the Triangulum Galaxy keep their hidden stashes of jelly beans. It's just one of those things he'll never know.

"Hey, know anything about those Squawkers?" you ask, wondering if he's able to brain today.

"I know that pong spelled backwards... is gnop," Bagz tells you in a tone of voice that makes it sound like it's the most vital fact of life and it's the universe's last stand to keep everything in balance. "Gnop. GNOP! GNOP!"

Gnop. While he enters a trance that makes his jaw hang, his eyes roll back, and makes him pee all over the strawberry ice cream sidewalk, you just feel like maybe this just isn't worth the time.

"Gnop finds favor with you!" Bagz states clearly, before giggling. "He says I owe you a lot of money. Oh, oh, money! Debts I haven't paid! That you were once a giant blue Chatot named Tiny that saved my favorite nebula and I didn't pay tribute! Aww no! This is unacceptable. Take this offering! Happy offering! Snax! Snax!"

And then he throws a big wad of money at you...

Eddie has received $1000 Snax$!

"I hope we can be friends, Tiny!" Bagz smiles at you before withdrawing. "I... oh. Ha, ha! I'm... nervous. It's my first time not being a bicycle. You know what that's like, right, Tiny!? Maybe? I might be good at racing backwards! If I only tried! It takes so much time to find my lost toothpick!"

You decide now would be a good time to go.

Eddie the Epic Bulbasaur (S: Grass/Poison)

Classy: Slappy Happy Classy
Style: Trigger Happy (2 DMG, 100% CoH)
Goodies #1: <Empty>
Goodies #2: <Empty>
Belly: 2/8
Overwhelming Cuteness: 0/12
Groovy Abilities: Reincarnate | Perky Stuff!: Browser History Hacking