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Easter Lopunny Lopsided Lunacy!

 

It’S EaStERRR LoPUNNy LoPSiDeD LUNaCy wHeRe INsanItY iS TeRminAL AnD We’Re SeEiNG coLoRz iN oUR WhiTe PadDeD RooMZ!!

No, no Wilson, I told you so many times before but it’s just not making sense and I’m still not getting the payment I’m due. Like oranges. I could really use some oranges right about now. And a pay phone. They still have those, right? No? Oh well. I heard if you stick your pinky and ring finger up and try talking into that, they might be willing to give you a pineapple pizza, which for some is a fate worse than death.

I think there’s art. Yeah, maybe let’s look into that before all the good doughnuts are gone.

This… nothing horrifies me more than this. This is something that causes your financial advisor to have a heart attack and the entire encompass of HR Block to melt into pasty goodness. Aunty-chick, you’re a great person and a talented artist, but the soulless stares of these creatures have me really wondering where my life is heading toward like a orange getting rammed into a juicer. It’s the eyes. It’s like they’re seeking to pull me further into the abyss while assuring me it’s a happy little place where they’re always candy and the milk never goes bad.

I’m not convinced.

BetaPunk, you FAILED because I see no Buneary, Lopunny, Bunnelby, and no Diggersby either. Though my liking toward Diggersby took a DRAMATIC NOSEDIVE the millisecond someone told me it looked like the cheeky rodent pissed himself with that yellow fur. Now I can never unsee that. Kind of like you know that feeling where it feels like there’s a bugs on your arm and you look and there’s nothing there? Those are the ghosts of bugs you’ve killed. Still, you missed some prime bunny Pokémon in this opportunity! You make me sad.

Azumarill and Togepi look perfectly happy and fine but all that Exeggcute don’t seem as thrilled. Like that feeling where you had that ONE CHANCE to jump in on the office lottery and you didn’t and all the people that did are now millionaires while you’re the sucker to still has to show up for work the next day.

Holy freaking cow, if you think I’m hashtagging all these Pokémon, you’ve got another thing coming. Plus I don’t even know who that dude is behind Chansey. He’s cute but WHAT POKÉMON IS THAT!? I don’t know! It bothers me that I don’t know!

This drawing is cute, though it distinctly looks like Kirlia is kicking those baskets into the air like she’s completely had it with life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and the state of the universe. Oh, and Buneary is wondering just how that one broken Exeggcute egg continues to survive with its brains exposed, if the yolk can be considered its brains. You know what, Buneary, I don’t get how it works either so I’m totally at a loss as well.

DAWWW, see, now this is truly cute. Such a colorful and extra fluffy Lopunny! The world needs more of this. Riding the subway? That’s great, there’s Happy Easter 2018 by PlatinaSena right on the wall of the subway car. Doing your taxes? Here you go, Happy Easter 2018 by PlatinaSena right where you’re declaring if you have dependents. Checking out the album art for Iron Maiden? That’s great, but you’re getting Happy Easter 2018 by PlatinaSena instead. That doesn’t mean you can’t jam out to Run to the Hills! You just need to do it to this!

Aww, this one’s cute too, but SMILE, you overly-fluffy Flareon, you! Ugh, it’s like he got told all the Girl Scout cookies were eaten right before the picture was taken. And who was the punk that did that? I’ll find them and I’ll take their camera and I’ll start taking pictures of them while they sleep so they think someone is stalking them. And… oh yeah, that would be me. Nah, I’m no stalker!

I guess that calls for Plan B and to give them a caramel apple that’s actually… an onion.

That’s all for this nonsense! If you survived, CONGRATULATIONS! You win… nah, you don’t really win anything. Or you win… ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: A WIN. There, I wouldn’t let you go empty-handed!

Happy Easter, fools!