Quote Originally Posted by Neo Emolga View Post
You can't live off of positive reinforcement, though. If you do, then you'll quit something that could be good just because of a couple of naysayers (or in this case, people that just haven't commented). And on the other hand, if people just shower you with mindless praise that doesn't have any substance, that's never going to help you either. You have to ask yourself, are you making and posting art to express, create, and pursue a passion in art, or are you just throwing it out there just to fish for compliments?

Don't do a comic or anything if it's only to get appraise. It will never be truly yours and will instead just be fodder to feed to the masses. Instead, create something because it's your personal passion to pursue it and that you're willing to work on it to the end because you want to see it completed, to hell what anyone else says. Use constructive criticism to help build toward making your passion better. Forget the insults. But if you let insults and negative criticism be the reason you end your projects, that's bad and if you're giving those critics so much power to just end every last one of your creations. If you can honestly take a step back and say "you know, I'm happy with this and I personally think it's good. Screw those guys," then you're good and you have a solid reason to keep going. You have to understand that not everyone is going to love your work. And there are plenty of times where it takes multiple failures to make a success.

"Create to express, not to impress. Work for a cause, not for applause."
As much as I would like to be like this, mentally I just... can't. I've had too my ambitions shattered too many times to have any confidence in my pursuits whatsoever. Heck I was beginning to wonder if I was as good as political science as I thought I was until I won an award for it a few weeks back. I've left singing, piano, coding, art, film production, and so many other things behind because of this mentality that I can't let go of. The only reason I haven't dropped writing is because it is the only thing I have left.

I don't mind constructive criticism. I used to but not so much anymore. But I take every comment to heart nowadays, simply because even now the insults are beaten into me to the point where I'm in tears and want to just disappear. It's been that way for a long time and it's probably never going to change. My default opinion of myself is that I'm a disappointment as a result of this, thus, I must look to others to prove myself wrong. And when I get zero response? It makes me think that no one disagrees. And when I get a negative response? It makes me feel even worse.

You make it sound so easy to brush off the haters but it's not when your biggest hater lived in the same house as you for eighteen years. It's not easy when just the thought of getting a test back makes you feel nauseous and sick. It's not easy when you have to hide everything you draw or write out of sheer fear that it'll be labeled as a waste of time. It's not easy when you fear the affection of others are merely a knife disguised an olive branch because for nearly two decades most of the time it was. I have to latch onto other people's opinions because I am desperate for someone to prove to me that I am worth something. Because for nineteen years now I've been constantly reminded over and over and over and over that I'm not worth more than the dirt that my grandfather is buried under.