Forgive and forget, or hold a grudge?

[SassySnivy]

This is a great idea for a discussion, Xanthe!

Personally, I don't like to hold grudges. When I DO hold a grudge however, it's instantly lifted when or if the person shows repentance or is apologetic towards what was done. Additionally, assuming they wronged me in the past and a couple years down the road I talk to them again, even if they just show that they're a better person and don't want to mention it to bring back bad memories, the grudge lifts over time. An apology just instantly lifts the grudge and adds a BUNCH of respect towards them in my mind. It takes a strong person to admit when you are wrong.

Also, it depends on WHEN it was. If it's like something where me and the other person(s) were just stupid kids or teenagers and I encounter them again, I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they've become a more mature person upon aging into an adult.

Inversely, I can understand why some people want to "hold onto grudges instead of rekindling the friendship." They probably aren't ready or don't want to approach the situation yet. They're afraid that if they mention it, it will bring more bad blood. Additionally, if they pretend it didn't happen, who's to say it wouldn't ALSO bring bad blood? I dunno, I know some people ARE that petty but others are just afraid of confrontation. :o

I never forget people who wronged me and what they did, but imho it's bad to forget. If you forget, who's to say it wouldn't happen again? Treat it as a learning experience!

In most cases, I'm a forgive and forget kind of guy, unless the person does the wrong stuff over and over again despite being told plenty of times that stuff like that bothers me. Usually when that happens and it's clear the person isn't learning anything from what they're doing wrong, I just try to break away and avoid those kinds of people. You can't make friends out of everyone, but the best choice is to at least keep the peace between those people you just can't work with. And if that means just leaving them alone, that's probably for the best.

*coughMichaelXDcough*