Personally, I'd love to be Victini myself, but I think it'd be weird if someone as jaded as me was the literal embodiment of victory. I'd also have more reason to be mad about the defiled statue - what's next, a broken Shaymin statue in a garden? A Keldeo statue without the horn?
"Only when victory listens, sees and speaks again"... Please. It's right here, in the form of a squad.

Anyway, time to have a chat with Police Officer Nr.2. When I consider it, the people you least expect can often be the culprits...