Through the Eyes of a Flareon [PG] (Chapter 31 FINALLY up)

[Suicune's Fire]

Just to reiterate the note in the first post:

This story was started in 2009. Chapter 30 was written in 2013 I think, while Chapter 31 was written in 2016. Just as a disclaimer, my writing style has evolved and improved over years of practice, so please do note that older chapters will likely contain weird wording, awkward sentence structure and irrelevant content. xD I also had a bad habit of over-describing things. If you hit a wall of description, feel free to skip over it. XD

All right I have read the first chapter. I liked your description of the battle and the pokemon in place. Though "Izanthe"? Really? Subtly at its finest ma'am. ALSO YOU DIDN'T CAPITALIZE SPECIES NAMES #TRIGGERED nah jk I saw your rule.

So anyway, I really did like your descriptions of battle. It does well to present vivid imagery of the battle and give the reader a sense of what's going on. The dialogue is a bit perplexing but to be fair this is only the first chapter so I'm sure it will make more sense in the future. The descriptions of the trainers feel a little out of place at times. Like the part where you described Dusty's trainer's brown hair whipping in the wind and her Hazel eyes. I got the impression from the summary that the trainers were not all that important other than their pokemon's relationships with them so I felt the description was a little out of place because the focus should be on the pokemon. Now the part where the golem's nickname wasn't used it made sense but otherwise it wasn't really necessary. It just felt like this little hint of something that either should not be there or there needs to be more of, if that makes sense.

Overall good chapter, I'll try to read more when I get the chance but it's the first day of college and I have four classes so busy busy busy.

Okay, first of all, capitalising pokemon names makes no sense. You don't capitalise dog. Or cat. Or spotted turtle-dove. Secondly, It's Izante, with no h. Pronounced "eye-ZAHNT-ay" which was a name created by a then-friend of mine long before she met me, and sounds nothing like my name. Thank YOU.

Thanks! Glad you liked them. Yeah keep in mind I wrote this as a fifteen-year old in 2009 so cut me some slack. xD I mean, I did go over them in like 2012 but I didn't want to change much. And, well, reading over it, it doesn't really seem out of place to me. xD Dusty looks to her master and admires her, I guess, hence the description and the "I was lucky to have such a trainer." And yeah, the trainers are important in some sense, but they aren't important as characters, if that makes sense. I also am unsure what you mean by the the golem's name not being said by his trainer being out of place. xD It's meant to clue you in that the golem and his trainer don't have a good relationship and hint that something is amiss. I guess it's also meant to show that Dusty is quite oblivious when it comes to trainer/pokemon relationships and that some trainers and pokemon don't get along, while others, like her trainer and her, are inseparable. It's meant to make you question why it's in there, don't worry. xD

Thanks, yo!

This was an interesting story! I've only read the first chapter, but the way you wrote is wasn't half bad. Some of the explanations at times were a little confusing at times to me, but understanding sometimes is a bit "eh" and I have to read things a few times. I'm sure it got better written throughout the years you've worked on this though. Overall, really enjoyed the first chapter, Xanthe

Question though. Are the trainers as important as the Pokemon later on? Also xD loving the nicknames

Haha, thanks. Like I said, it was written a long time ago so yeah. xD I definitely had a problem with confusing explanations or wording back then. XD

No. They aren't. Dusty's keeps her trainer close to her heart, but she's not really in the rest of the story. Thanks! And, well...they aren't nicknames. They're names. xD Thanks for reading!

[Noblejanobii]

Just to reiterate the note in the first post:

This story was started in 2009. Chapter 30 was written in 2013 I think, while Chapter 31 was written in 2016. Just as a disclaimer, my writing style has evolved and improved over years of practice, so please do note that older chapters will likely contain weird wording, awkward sentence structure and irrelevant content. xD I also had a bad habit of over-describing things. If you hit a wall of description, feel free to skip over it. XD

Don't nag me and let me critique you. Even if you've already fixed it it's good to hear.

Okay, first of all, capitalising pokemon names makes no sense. You don't capitalise dog. Or cat. Or spotted turtle-dove. Secondly, It's Izante, with no h. Pronounced "eye-ZAHNT-ay" which was a name created by a then-friend of mine long before she met me, and sounds nothing like my name. Thank YOU.

I was messing with you. :P Jokes. Though mentally I've been pronouncing it "eye-xanthe" so the misspelling wasn't intentional.

Thanks! Glad you liked them. Yeah keep in mind I wrote this as a fifteen-year old in 2009 so cut me some slack. xD I mean, I did go over them in like 2012 but I didn't want to change much. And, well, reading over it, it doesn't really seem out of place to me. xD Dusty looks to her master and admires her, I guess, hence the description and the "I was lucky to have such a trainer." And yeah, the trainers are important in some sense, but they aren't important as characters, if that makes sense. I also am unsure what you mean by the the golem's name not being said by his trainer being out of place. xD It's meant to clue you in that the golem and his trainer don't have a good relationship and hint that something is amiss. I guess it's also meant to show that Dusty is quite oblivious when it comes to trainer/pokemon relationships and that some trainers and pokemon don't get along, while others, like her trainer and her, are inseparable. It's meant to make you question why it's in there, don't worry. xD

Thanks, yo!

No you misunderstand. I was saying that the description of the trainer during the scene where the Golem's nickname isn't mentioned does make sense. It's not out of place. Whereas the description of Dusty's trainer did seem somewhat out of place. That's what I meant.

[Suicune's Fire]

Don't nag me and let me critique you. Even if you've already fixed it it's good to hear.

I was messing with you. :P Jokes. Though mentally I've been pronouncing it "eye-xanthe" so the misspelling wasn't intentional.

No you misunderstand. I was saying that the description of the trainer during the scene where the Golem's nickname isn't mentioned does make sense. It's not out of place. Whereas the description of Dusty's trainer did seem somewhat out of place. That's what I meant.

Yeah but when it's something you've written eight years ago, ya know, the critique is a little irrelevant. xD I appreciate you pointing things out though. If I was writing it these days, things would be different.

That's why I corrected you. xD To be like "Umm that's not how you say it." Lel.

Psst. It's his name, not his 'nickname.' Oh, I see. Well I was also responding to this bit: "Now the part where the golem's nickname wasn't used it made sense but otherwise it wasn't really necessary." I was contesting its apparent irrelevance. Perhaps I misunderstood. Lel.

Sorry if I sound defensive or anything. Since I wrote this so long ago, I don't really see myself changing much. xD Part of me wishes you could just skip to later chapters where everything is better written, lelel. You should have seen this before it had an overhaul. XD It was horrid. But, I mean, it's not like it matters that I didn't write as well when I was younger. x) It was good by my standards back then, so I don't mean to hate on my earlier self. XD

[Noblejanobii]

Yeah but when it's something you've written eight years ago, ya know, the critique is a little irrelevant. xD I appreciate you pointing things out though. If I was writing it these days, things would be different.

That's why I corrected you. xD To be like "Umm that's not how you say it." Lel.

Psst. It's his name, not his 'nickname.' Oh, I see. Well I was also responding to this bit: "Now the part where the golem's nickname wasn't used it made sense but otherwise it wasn't really necessary." I was contesting its apparent irrelevance. Perhaps I misunderstood. Lel.

Sorry if I sound defensive or anything. Since I wrote this so long ago, I don't really see myself changing much. xD Part of me wishes you could just skip to later chapters where everything is better written, lelel. You should have seen this before it had an overhaul. XD It was horrid. But, I mean, it's not like it matters that I didn't write as well when I was younger. x) It was good by my standards back then, so I don't mean to hate on my earlier self. XD

I'll try to keep pointing out things as I go along but don't expect much unless it's glaring. I mainly did this to practice reviewing.

lol I'll probably forget between now and the next chapter and still say it like that.

Yeah my wording was a bit weird but eh.

I mean we're all defensive of our old works so it's cool.

[Suicune's Fire]

I'll try to keep pointing out things as I go along but don't expect much unless it's glaring. I mainly did this to practice reviewing.

lol I'll probably forget between now and the next chapter and still say it like that.

Yeah my wording was a bit weird but eh.

I mean we're all defensive of our old works so it's cool.

Ah cool then. I'll try not to take the things you say to heart. XD

NO. STAHP. Maybe I should do a pronunciation guide thing for a few characters though because some are a bit weird. xD

True. xD

[Noblejanobii]

Ah cool then. I'll try not to take the things you say to heart. XD

NO. STAHP. Maybe I should do a pronunciation guide thing for a few characters though because some are a bit weird. xD

True. xD

Lol well I man if it helps you then it helps.

Maybe I should pronounce it "It-Zayneth".