Are All Romances Cliché?

[Pokemon Trainer Sarah]

I think the reason romance is cliche is cos love is a human instinct/chemical reaction. So you know, it tends to happen the same way for everyone in real life. There are only so many ways it can happen. It generally starts of unrequited and goes from there. I read almost exclusively YA fiction so there are a lot of romances and it's usually love triangles or someone pining after the other person who finally realises. What makes it interesting and different I guess is the characters and how they react to it. It's the same in real life. Though the situations may be very similar for most real life romances, every person acts differently under those circumstances. I think it's very hard to write a non-cliche romance because of all that, but if your characters are interesting enough it doesn't really matter. People like reading about that stuff anyway! xD

[Morzone]

I watch a lot of romance anime, so while my real life romance life isn't particularly great... I'm experienced with seeing it told in a story. And to be honest, there aren't many ways to tell a romance story that haven't already been told. Even so, I don't really get bored of it. Once you get used to seeing the various tropes you start having just as much fun seeing how they're weaved into the story. From my experience, the best romance stories don't actually center primarily on the romance.

Essentially, it boils down to who you're targeting the romance towards. One audience might prefer a funny, non-serious love story with an oblivious girl (or guy) having someone fall for them. Another might prefer one full of drama, where people fight their friends for a person's love, or perhaps the common "Do I like the good boy or the bad boy" decision. Maybe you want a more mature story based in realism.

My personal favorite is when Romance is done in the form of a quest. The stated purpose drives the plot, so the romance isn't necessarily the main focus. This way the romance can contain elements of both realism and unrealism. the quest ends, whether the stated purpose is completed or not, with a "moral development" and if that development is love between two people, well it's very satisfying.

Ignoring my personal input there... I guess I'm just saying that yes, at base romance is going to seem cliche, but what makes a good romance story is the way it's woven into the plot. People still like cliche romance, Heck if you're writing toward teenagers they'll absorb anything romance, no matter how cliche. But if your looking for something a bit more than a game of "win the guy's(or girl's) heart" then you just connect it with other themes all in one fascinating story.

[Death's Spook]

The trick is to get past the infatuation stage.

Now, that's waaaaay easier said than done. Infatuation is the "romantic" part of a romantic relationship. It's the part most stories are written about: it's literally an addiction to the other person's presence. So why do I say get past it?

Because for a romantic relationship to REALLY work, there has to be some idea of balance. One partner tends to daydream, the other tends to pull them back to reality, and in turn, the first partner encourages the second to dream. One partner has really powerful emotions while the second is more logical, but that first partner also gives the second encouragement to experience emotions more deeply. One is an optimist who hopes, the other a pessimist preparing for the worst. Etc. Balance lets both partners grow together into a stronger whole, and that is what lets a relationship persist, and also keeps it interesting.

[Pokemon Trainer Sarah]

The trick is to get past the infatuation stage.

Now, that's waaaaay easier said than done. Infatuation is the "romantic" part of a romantic relationship. It's the part most stories are written about: it's literally an addiction to the other person's presence. So why do I say get past it?

Because for a romantic relationship to REALLY work, there has to be some idea of balance. One partner tends to daydream, the other tends to pull them back to reality, and in turn, the first partner encourages the second to dream. One partner has really powerful emotions while the second is more logical, but that first partner also gives the second encouragement to experience emotions more deeply. One is an optimist who hopes, the other a pessimist preparing for the worst. Etc. Balance lets both partners grow together into a stronger whole, and that is what lets a relationship persist, and also keeps it interesting.

That's actually a great point. xD Most books/movies focus on the "getting together" part and once that happens it's like "happily ever after". But really that's the EASIEST part of real relationships. xD

[Morzone]

That's true. You don't see many Romance stories focus on struggles AFTER getting together. The few I've seen sort of came on me by surprise and all of them were quite good an mature. Though if you're not looking for a mature audience, well...

[Arrow-Jolteon]

Yeah, that's another big problem with stories about romance: once the wedding bells ring the whole thing is treated as a grand finale instead of the beginning of a new adventure (which is what it actually is in real life).