Quote Originally Posted by ARandomTool View Post
Man, taking heads was gonna be my job... Oh well. Investigate Zell the Greninja because I don't think a simple conversation would go over well. Plus, he's probably a Repair teacher! Fixing things is always nice NEVERMIND APPARENTLY INSTEAD... (On phone can't cross out worth jack)
Dagnabbit people. Taking the Royal Heads (Nidoking, Nidoqueen) to the Escapist Bookstore!
Guess what? You're doing the hea̷͖ͦͦ͑ͨ͒́ͩds because NEWSFLASH, BUCKAROO, ZELL SLEEPS DURING THE NIGHT CYCLE AND ZOWIE, IT'S NIGHTTIME AND I KNOW YOU FORGET TO CHECK THAT! No really, I could wake you up at 3am if you'd like so you get the full effect of what that feels like! And I usually like to wake silly Lucarios like yourself up with dead things planted on their faces. It's fun, try it sometime. Well, since I don't feel like hea̷͖ͦͦ͑ͨ͒́ͩding all the way to your silly neighborhood at that hour, I'll just do something to your neighbor's annoying little dog so they wake up half the neighborhood on my behalf at that lovely hour. And no, I won't tell you what night I plan on doing it on! Oh, you're welcome, but it's my pleasure.

So you graciously take the heads that your friends disarmed and you skip your way to the Escapist Bookstore. The good thing is Devis is still dead so he doesn't have to deal with the likes of you or the fun stuff that's about to happen. So you take your lovely heads that your friends gouged their eyeballs out and you head to the metallic display. You also give the plaque a read...

#Disturbing Presence# Trap 70% Evasion (20% size + 50% Security) Test: 99 out of 100: Evasion Successful!

And you suddenly stop rea̷͖ͦͦ͑ͨ͒́ͩding it because you realize the thing is rigged and will mind-rot you if you read the whole damnable thing. Looking away, you grab the plaque and decide to rip it right off the mount. Hey, a little vandalism never hurt anyone, right? Well, you just chuck that into a corner and it bounces away with a satisfying little clinging sound. Yippie-yippie-yay!

The #Disturbing Presence# (1 Sanity Damage) trap on the {Head Display: Missing Head of the King, Missing Head of the Queen} has been removed. Well poo.

Well, that certainly ruined someone's fun. So now you get to the g̬͕̥̝̯͈̱̟̥̐̃͒ͥ͆ͦ͋ó̝͉̗̜͕͕̓͛̏ͭ̎̒̉ͅo̖̔̅̇͋̉ͪd̘ͥ ̗̪͇̲̪̫̮̈̿̂ͦ́̚p̺͙̣̥̤͚̫̗̂̿ͨͨ͐ͯ̂̚ȃ͓͓̖̘ͤͥ͌ͅr̘̎ͫ̋͆ͮ̀ͮ̏ ̤̤̹̟̰̩͓̙ṭ͎̝̗͓̝̭̱̪ͮ̔̅̈́̆ͮͦ. You mount the Nidoqueen's head first, and it fits so nicely into place. Boy, does she look marvelous today. No body, no eyes, tongue hanging out, it's just lovely. Then you set up the Nidoking's head and that lovely masterpiece fights right in as well. They're just perfect for each other. See, if they said "yo̶̠̺̹̫̝̮ͭͣ̂̈́̀u look beautiful today" to each other, they've be lying in so many ways at once it would just be hilarious.

Item [Nidoqueen Head] and [Nidoking Head] have been removed from the Inventory. I know, I know, you wanted to keep them for your collection, but nah, I'm not letting you. >;P

Well, here's one mind-screw you weren't expecting. As soo̗̦̘̍̽̉̓͑̔n as they set in, you hear a howling in your head and n̳̓ͮ̓o, buddy, no amount of Security is going to prepare you for this one. It's like a screaming shadow leaps from the mount and jumps into your gawking face!

@-Dark Event Trigger: Hellish Evil Sensations@ (2 Sanity Damage)



It gets worse, Mister O'Toole, because the who̗̦̘̍̽̉̓͑̔le time, it's like a cubic butt-ton of testosterone-infused Zubats are screaming your most-hated country music song in your head and it hurts like the dentist shot you up with Tabasco sauce instead of the Novocain you were expecting right before drilling half your jaw apart.

For a while, you have a s̱̫̤͉̔̔ͭ̓̋l͔͕̩͉̳̗̱̎̅e͉͖̘̦̟͒̏e̤̻̼̮̖̮̽̆̀̓p̠-̗͇̖͎ͅẅ̟́͋̃àͦ̇͐l̻͎͕͖̭͋̐̌ͭ̊̉̓k̓̿̈́̓̚̚ḯ̹̗̹͙͈̼́͆͂̆n̆ͧ ̜̞̘͕͗ͭg̭̲̩̮̮̉ͅ ̲̝̔̈̉ͯ̽n̫̙̻͍̫͙͒̎i̺g͔͔̮̳̳͖̀̃̽ͥ̊h̻̪͍̖̯̦ͤͭͧ̒͊̐͆t͉̺̩̍͋ ̙͎̯m͉͕̻͌̚a̺͆ͣ̐ͤͅr̟ͭ̄ͤ̉ͬ̌ͩe̮̒ͪ͆ ͕̦̲͖͎̙̗̇f̱̭̱͚̏ͭ̿̾̆ͪͫͅr̹̭̱e̎̋aͮ̓͛k̬̳͙͍̼̜̰o͉̤̠̎̔ͯ͆͋͂ ú̻̬̉t̘͎̭͕̜͉̰̑̿ where you imagine you're puking blood. And it gets worse. You suddenly vomit a lung out. Whoa. And then... a kidney, a rib, and then... well damn, that was probably your heart. It's still beating! Or that was your stomach and something inside it is jumping around. Well, b͇̱̱̭͉͎͚͛͒͌ẽ͕̗͕̘͈̳ͥf̩͊o̬̱̦̺̝̦ͤ̆ȑ͋e̜͈̠̅ͯ ̺̔ͥ̋ͨ̍y͔̜̞̮̬̻ͨͬô̪̲͇͔͚͆͐u͚̤̲̎̓ ̟͔̲͎̼̉ͧ̿g̙̩͔̯̺̘̟͂̽̚̚eͭ͊͊̓̚̚ͅt ̮̺̈͌ͯ̄ͤ͌ͅto͑ͩ̏͌ͯ́̌ ͖̰̣̽͊͑d̼̹̂̋ͤ͂̅̆͗ie͇̫̟͕͛̐̽̔ͅ, you watch all those lovely internal organs just go black. It looks horrible. I mean really, it makes gangrene look good. But then, suddenly they all jump back up and force their way back into your throat again!



For a moment, the screaming gets even worse and it hurts so bad that you wonder if just r̆̔ͧi͉̘͖͈̻̦͐ͭp͇̟͛p̗̤̭̎́̓ǐ̯̯͎͉ͯn̗͇͍̣̺̣͓̏̂ͥͧ̋̚g̻̹̜͐ ̰̼ ̖̖̦͖͙y̹̹̬̲̩ͤͥͫͨͪö̠̬̰̱̪̩̿ͨͣ̃ͨ̂u̲ͤ̈́̂̚r͙̞̳̺̓͑̓͆̀ ̦̳̭͈̃ḛa̮̭̘̱̺̤ȑ͓͍̟̽ͬ͋s͙̳̏̇̾̒ ̇ͬ̎̌̊̎o̬͍̖ͧḟ̙̞̰̻̟̲̞̄ͫ̉̓̇̽f͈̖͈̜̹̞̍ might be a good idea right about now. Maybe just ending it all with a big jackhammer to the face would be really cool. For a good solid few minutes, you really begin to wonder just exactly how is Satan supposed to top all this off.



Rusty O'Toole has suffered 2 Damage to Sanity! Lovely!

Eventually it settles down, unfortunately. All good things have to come to an e̟͍̗͙̟͈ͧ̍ͫͧ͐͂̈́̈nd, but when it's all done, you look back to the head mount and you discover everything just totally blew up while you were having your wonderland fiesta. There's pie̟͍̗͙̟͈ͧ̍ͧ͐͂̈́̈ces of this metallic mess everywhere. Even the heads blew up. So for a min̳̓ͮ̓ute, you really think you and your buddies were totally shamed but you do find something in the pieces and debris.

Why, it's an adorable Cleffa figure! Aww! She smiling and looks s̘̜̜̱̹̘̰͛ͮͯ̽̋͂͋o̎ͯ́̊̍͌ ̼̳̮͓̦ͨ̈̈͒c̼̋̍̑̌ḥ̪͉ͯ̊͊e̬̻͑͂ͬḙ͎̠̙̎̀ͩ̋͊̈r̍f̙̦͌ͦͪ̈̅ͅ u͚̳̝̩̹̮͆̅̀̓ͅl̗͌̒ while you're just standing there like someone bashed your head in with a gravedigger's shovel that they tied with razor wire and then set on fire. Surely it's not so bad, right? Nahhh!

Item [Cleffa Figurine] has been added to the Team Inventory. She thinks you're funny! Funny looking that is!

Mister O'Toole, your te̟͍̗͙̟͈ͧ̍ͫͧ͐͂̈́̈am thanks you for your service and volunteering to be the Mareep to the slaughterhouse. They all got to watch and enjoy your misery from a safe distance, but I'm sorry to say, the reviews on your performance were mixed. Personally, I give it... eh, one and a half stars. See, I t͑ͬ̏ȯ̓̊̑̈t̹a͍͓̫̝͓͖̬̔̑ͧ̾͗lͧ̊l̙̺̬̙͉̓͑ÿ̻̜͚ understand this is a barrel of fun for you and trust me, there's plenty more to come! You'll get plenty of more chances to impress me!

Now off you go, Mister O'Toole! Go tell all your friends about the wonderful time you just had! >:D

Rusty O'Toole the Lucario (M: Fighting/Steel)
Health: 5/5
Sanity: 2/4
Perk: Security | Learned Abilities: Rescue/Escape
Failed Assassinations: 0/2