Pokémon: Nemesis [PG-13]

[Kentucky Fried Torchic]

Yay, you got it up! :D

Firstly, I like how it took a while to reveal what the main character's species was. I love to write my stories that way too, and drop little hints as you did for the reader to try to form an image with. Before it was revealed that he was a pikachu, I was envisioning a minccino.

It's interesting to see how a pokemon would work in a regular society in a non-trainer role, especially one who has lived there presumably for years and knows nearly everything about the city and how to avoid (or get themselves into) trouble. The little comments that were made in the narration which indicated his knowledge of human life was very believable. I especially liked his craving for human food, such as the Double Diglett Bites. xD So funny. I think the suspense was done really well when the shop worker was closing in on him, too. The whole part at the end has left everyone hanging, I'm sure, and I wonder if the mew was visiting him on purpose or just happened to find him there. xD I guess we'll find out!

Overall it was very well written and engaging, and I look forward to more. :D

One of the really fun things about working on this story has been having to put myself in the mindset of a Pokemon. Part of the fun has been taking things that seem to be so ubiquitous in the games and anime, such as Pokemon species, and turn them on their head. Because honestly, when is the last time that you consciously referred to yourself as a human? The need to identify the Pikachu as, well, a Pikachu, is part of what drove the inclusion of a speaking human character capable of identifying him as such.

Another big part of that has been trying to see the world of humans from a Pokemon's viewpoint. A lot of creative works and games that focus on the Pokemon's point of view feel this need to only approach the issue in situations that are completely dearth of humans, whether it's a parallel universe or some sort of post-apocalyptic situation. Pokemon have such an interesting relationship to Homo sapiens and its a shame that the best representation of that that I can call to mind are the scenes when Pokemon get subtitles in Island of the Giant Pokemon.

I really liked the description you used. I could picture it all perfectly! Especially the part where Pikachu was about to be caught and then the door opened behind it! The humour is really great too. This Pikachu sounds like a very interesting character. Look forward to reading more! :)

I'm very glad to hear that the humor is hitting its mark! There's nothing harder than trying to write something funny, so I tried to just let the humor flow naturally from situations, with maybe a good prod here or there. The Pikachu is a little bit of a Howard the Duck type, trapped in a world he never made, so he makes for a good sarcastic eye when it comes to those things. As the story picks up and there start to be other voices that compete with his, I hope that I can keep the dialogue from overpowering the description and humor.