The following is a comedic monologue I had to write for my Drama class this year. For maximum comedy, imagine me reading this to you in a dead monotone.

Spoiler:
*Phone rings*
Girl: Hi, bay! It's, like, so hard for me to hear you right now! I'm walking to my bestie's house and there're, like, so many people walking their dogs and, like, all the dogs are barking and I can't hear a thing you're saying so I'm, like, gonna just keep talking so there isn't any awkward silence, okay bay?
Anyways, I was just thinking about how popping you are, bay! I mean, you got me that mad lit teddy bear for my birthday! To be honest, you're, like, the most popping, best bay in the history of bays, bay!
*beat*
Huh? You want to talk to me? But we're talking right now, bay! I'm telling my awesome bay about how much I love my bay!
*beat*
Oooooooh, you want to talk to me! Okay, bay! Go ahead! Talk!
*beat*
Wait... You've been cheating on me with my bestie this entire time? And now you're dumping me for her?
OMG, bay, this is not happening! You're not dumping me, bay, I'm dumping you! And you remember that teddy bear you got me for my birthday? I burned it because it reminded me too much of your mom! And I can't even remember your name because it's, like, so dope! And before I hang up, tell my bestie she isn't my bestie anymore, bay! Goodbye, bay!
*hangs up*


So yeah. That was a monologue about me making fun of slang, as well as all the unnecessary drama I hear in the hallways on a daily basis.