Quote Originally Posted by Noblejanobii View Post
Tell that to all the people I give money to and then they turn around and spread rumors about me behind my back. I don't care if anyone approves of me. Learned that lesson in middle school. I am who I am and I don't care what you think of me. I am kind because it's what I believe is right and I don't think I deserve any reward for doing what's right. They don't become my allies the majority of the time, I don't gain their approval, in fact I'm pretty sure I'm just a walking ATM to most people but because I know what their home lives are like, I figure, if someone has to show them kindness since their parents obviously don't. That's not selfish. Show me what advantage wasting my time and money for people who give literally zero crap if I get hit by a bus in the next five minutes gives me? Because I've been doing it for four years and I have yet to see any advantages. It's just called being nice.

Just so I'm clear on the terms before I answer, like if I say donated to a fund that provides food to people on Africa? That sort of acknowledgement or something else?
Just because people betray you, it doesn't mean that their allegiance was a potential gain at the time of the good deed. I'm not saying kindness is impossible. I'm just saying that nobody is kind without (potential) gain unless they are manipulated to do so (often by people who use the word 'selfish'). I can even show that giving money to poor people even when they dislike you is selfish - you give money to them because you believe it is right to (you admitted this), but the only reason you do that is because you want to a morally good person. Is that not itself a selfish motive?

You're right, it is called being nice. But you don't have to be selfless to be nice. If I give a compliment because I want someone to like me, rather than because I want to make them feel good, is giving the compliment a bad act? Of course not. The effect of the compliment is ultimately the same regardless of the intention.

Selflessness, if we take it to mean 'an action with no potential net gain for the ourselves but with potential net gain for the other person', is synonymous with self-destructive. If that is the definition of selflessness, there are no selfless acts that are not self-destructive. If you believe all people to be of equal worth (including oneself), you'll agree that selflessness is not noble or logical.

Yes, even that, but I meant even as simple as not saying 'thank you' to a waiter or waitress just because it made your friend anxious, for example.