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  1. #1
    Actually Prefers Popeyes Kentucky Fried Torchic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suicune's Fire View Post
    Because you said "cold to the touch" already, there's no need for "when he touched it" at the end.
    Should be "to" not "two."
    Ack! Thank goodness for your keen eyes! My editor will be getting an earful over this.

    It's weird to me that she would be excited about it... xD Shouldn't she be horrified instead? Or sad?

    There are some old biddies who prefer the silver lining of gossip to the dark cloud of tragedy, especially if they can be tied to it and thereby gain some notoriety themselves.

    That poor little charmander. :( What a terrible little life he had. I bet he would get a lot of nos, especially since fire types wouldn't be hard to come by, or even pokemon who have access to fire type moves. Then there are also lighters. It's sad that his employer is abusive as well. I wonder where his brother went, if he was the provider and then just up and vanished. :c

    I think the sad ending is a nice way to end it. Sort of heartwarming in a sad way. But I also like the happy ending, haha. How curious about the Snorlax! It does make me wonder. :3

    Anyway, great job! :D Definitely heartwarming, but also really sad. Nice story!
    Thankfully towards the end of the writing process I came up with the happier ending, but I agree that both endings could be considered "heartwarming" in some way.

    Thanks for taking the time to read my story! It means a lot to me!
    Dreams come a size too big. It's so that we can grow into them.

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  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Kentucky Fried Torchic View Post
    Ack! Thank goodness for your keen eyes! My editor will be getting an earful over this.

    There are some old biddies who prefer the silver lining of gossip to the dark cloud of tragedy, especially if they can be tied to it and thereby gain some notoriety themselves.

    Thankfully towards the end of the writing process I came up with the happier ending, but I agree that both endings could be considered "heartwarming" in some way.

    Thanks for taking the time to read my story! It means a lot to me!
    XD Get an earful! Aw it's okay. Sometimes it's hard to catch things. I can N E V E R seem to spot all my own mistakes, haha. ALSO I actually corrected it to "too" at first because my brain is dumb (even though I know it's meant to be "to") which @Fate called me out on. XD So thank him too!

    Oh yes, that's a good point. I guess it seemed odd to me because I'm not a COLD-HEARTED CLEFABLE!!!!!!

    Yeah exactly. :D I like them both!

    Aw no worries, Phantasm! <3 Been a while since I read anything of yours.

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