Quote Originally Posted by Pokemon Trainer Sarah View Post
I can understand that. I actually hate losing anything, even if it isn't a serious competition. xD But I do my best to chill out about it. It's totally up to you whether you join in certain things or not. The main idea is having fun, and if you don't find it fun to compete like that, that's totally cool. :D

I don't think you would embarrass yourself though. :)
It's not that I don't want to have fun. I do but… well I haven't been on here long enough for you guys to know about my years prior to high school very well. To touch on it briefly, every time I entered a contest prior to high school, I usually didn't win. The rich kids were the ones who always won and if one of the "outcasts" like myself joined in and lost, the rich kids made sure we never lived it down. I guess it's become somewhat of a fear of mine of not being good enough because when I was in middle school, I never was and I was never allowed to move past it.

Quote Originally Posted by The Frost Dragon View Post
Haha... Do you see that? That sentence, right there. You and I, we're not so different. That's the same fear I've been trying to uproot from myself ever since my first WAR.

I suppose what I said last post is how I've justified my performance, whether I took third or came in dead last. And hey, maybe that'll work for you, maybe not. This is all your choice. Whatever happens, I think if you go ahead and try, even if you do regret it, you'll be happy you chose that over never having tried at all.
Yeah well when I actually get around to kissing a person, or even really crushing on someone since I've never had a first crush, I'll let you know how that works out. But until then *shrug*. Like I mentioned above and in countless other posts around the site, I have severe insecurity issues. Not even ten minutes ago I was getting lectured by my mother for being overweight. I'm not allowed to be no matter where I go so instinctively I shy away from expressing myself because of my past. It's not excuse but… there's nothing I can do about it really.