allrighty then lets get this fire started. first things first, we needs a good beat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

Professor Flareon, you're too cute, no really it's hard to hear you over all the "daaaw's" also nice glasses *cough* hipster *cough*
Professor Umbreon, that is one swanky hat, can you pull a lopunny out of there?
Professor Leafeon, *snicker* and now we know what happens when little eevees eat too much salad! HEYOOO!
Professor Glaceon, only ever met one mon colder than you, my ex! .. claaassic
Professor Vaporeon, i'm a little worried about this as you'll be my counter once i evolve, but even if you do beat me i'll always be hotter than you! *fingerguns*
Professor Jolteon, heads or tails? .. oh wait. sorry.
Professor Sylveon, last but not least, unless you count things i can roast you with.. T_T you have short fur and that's not as good as big floofs and stuff and things and YEAA GET ROASTED!!
eeehy sorry Professors you know i was just doing my homework is all, cross me heart or my name's not Chips.