"Today was a terrible day because..."

[Scytherwolf]

Delete.

Or...

Sprinkle sarcasm all over that crap. Like "oh my goodness, please let me know your name and address so I can mail you a sympathy card! Sending you my thoughts and prayers!" Or "Thank you for your review, <Moron's name>! At Scytherwolf Inc., we value all feedback from all our readers, regardless of whether they're humans, drooling zombies, or mentally dereanged Neanderthals! Please continue to show your support and we hope you continue to be a loyal reviewer!" Or how about "Achievement Unlocked: Reaching the Top of Mount Nobody Gives a Crap! [100 Cool Points] Oh, you're well on your way to ruling the world now!" Or even "Yes, please keep pretending like you understand what's important! It really made my pet fruit fly giggle!"

Have fun with your prey. Savor the torment. Enjoy the memories. >:3

AHAHAHAHA, that is amazing. Sadly, these were anonymous comments, so there's no way to reply to them. I just deleted. However, if they get an account I'm gonna do something like this.