It’s NEEM from me to your neighborhood and something something about art and zaniness!
Because you can’t spell “fart” without “art”, here’s me taking a lick at what DeviantArt conjured up for Pokémon this week!
If you thought Espeon was cool already with psychic powers, now it has armor! And magic! And now looks more human! This getup looks like what you’d be wearing if you hit level cap in an MMORPG and also paid a whole paycheck just for cash shop items because who the heck enjoys gold farming in those games? Nah, load your character up with decked out stuff like this and make everyone’s eyes turn as you run by all shiny and glowing and maxed level! Something like this should totally be worn as you’re flying around in MMO land with your beefed up flashy dragon mount that only those that put in 400+ hours into the game would ever have.
And how does that black sphere thing for the staff float like that? That’s nifty and now I feel like I need a staff like that one! But how does it work!? HOW DOES IT WORK!?!?
It’s a keychain! It’s a necklace! It’s a container! This lovely, super-glittery Dragonair loves and will protect whatever you want to put into this tiny little bottle. Got some sand? Dragonair is all over that even though she has no clue why you’d want to lug that around on your neck. Or how about some sugar because someone at work stole all the sugar packets near the coffee machine? Dragonair loves your extra sugar. She’ll defend your extra sugar to the death. Or the laxatives that you want to “accidentally” put into the brownies at work? Dragonair is totally watching over that and thinks it’s a totally cool fartastic idea, you party pooper prowler, you. Whatever kind of nonsense you wanna put into this, it’ll go!
It’s Litwick, retyped as a “jelly” and fire type, but it kind of looks the same anyway! So if you’d rather have Litwick be less ghostly and more like an ethanol gel can to keep the food at your next catered party nice and hot, here you go! So this new variant evolves into Lampent at Level 41 and then into “Moosse” at level 15! How does… that work? What does Moosse even look like? Is it more moo cow or more moose? How would I delevel my Lampent 26 levels to get that? I need to know NOW!
N may be the antagonist of Pokémon White and Black, but daaaannnngg, he sure knows all the right ways to just chillax. Makes you jealous, really. Yeah, you’re jealous. Where are you reading this right now? In a car? Waiting at the DMV? Still trying to figure out how to split the restaurant check with your friends? Yeahhhh, N’s right here enjoying his $20 cocktail while you’re messing around with that junk. He may have failed to take over the world, but what have YOU done lately?
Even Zorua looks totally chill and probably thinks it couldn’t care less about screwing up a world takeover. So if you ever wondered what N is doing these days now that Team Skull is in action, well here you go! Let Guzma deal with that crap.
It’s Lunatone and Solrock, redesigned! So if you absolutely couldn’t stand the tired, sleepy, expressionless, and stony official versions, you can now have them in CLOCK FORM! With beaks! And Lunatone now has that awesome Terminator eye! It’s Lunatone and Solrock how you always wanted them to be!
Ladies and gents, that’s all for now, but it’s still summer and there’s still time and money for eating ice cream sandwiches and diving into pools, though I wouldn’t recommend doing both at the same time! Cheers to you all!